Self Respect

I bet you all are wondering what’s taken me so long to write this blog since I promised it to you guys about a week ago. I’ll tell you at the end.

According to www.merriam-webster.com/ Self respect is defined as a proper respect for oneself as a human being and/or a regard for one's own standing or position and Self Esteem is defined as : a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : self-respect. (Notice that self respect is included in Webster’s definition of self esteem)

Okay this all started when my daughter asked if I’d seen the video of this 14 year old girl posted on Facebook via cell phone video. Her name is Amber Cole. The video showed this young girl performing oral sex on a young boy. There were other boys standing by watching and someone taking a video. I didn’t watch much of it. My daughter wanted me to watch to see if I thought she knew she was being video tapped. She said every time the girl turned around the person taking the video would put it down, so obviously she didn’t know it was being video tapped. The argument for her was that some of her friends thought she had to know she was being tapped.

The young girl named Amber Cole denies it was her. She created a twitter page to address the issue. I believe her. With that being said, understand I’m not judging but just wondering.

These were young people, young teens engaging in a sexual act outside in the open, with people on-looking and I have to wonder why. I have to be honest and say it bothers me. Now check this out, it’s not only the girl that bothers me, but the boys too. The girl because, we all know what kind of reputation she now has. The boy....because to him it's probably a joke, he got "blown" and doesn't care about that girl.

I’m from a different generation, but must admit – I’m considered the cool mom, so there is a bit of understanding with this generation because I do talk to my daughter and to her friends. (My daughter is a bit older, but still) I have an understanding of some things. But even my daughter was perplexed with this one.

Whoever this girl is, I have to wonder what she thinks of herself. Does she not feel worthy of respect. I don’t know if I’m more perplexed by the age or the act being performed in public, in broad day light, with an audience.

Here’s another spin on the story. Amber Cole denies it was her – so who feels so bad about themselves that they would “frame” another child. Yes I said it, child. Was it the girl that was actually in the video or was it someone else. Some one that has such low self esteem and feels so threatened by another human being that they would “frame” them and say they were the one doing the act.(this is where I stopped writing about a week ago)

(Today continuing the blog)

It’s all died down. I looked at Amber Cole’s twitter page today – she has 15 followers – last week she had almost 300.

I hate to say this about me, nothing surprises me anymore. I feel like that is a sad statement to make. The morality of this world has been so damaged that an incident like this doesn’t surprise me, it doesn’t shock me. But it does sadden me.

“Child is born with a heart of gold, way of the world makes his heart so cold”. (Earth Wind and Fire).

How soon after birth do these hearts of gold turn cold? Have you ever looked into a child’s eyes and realized they don’t know the meaning of being loved? Have you looked into the eyes of a child and seen coldness? Have you ever seen a parent cursing a child out like they were a grown man? Have you ever seen a child beaten or the results of a beating? Have you ever seen a child dirty? Have you ever seen a child not cared for? Have you watched the news? Is this incident the result of a child seeking some kind of approval?

I know, in this society a good number of people loose their virginity at 12 or 13 – even younger. Our kids are exposed to too much. The girl and boy in the video, what do you think was going through their minds.  Was there a bet made that she wouldn’t do it…….in front of an audience? Was there a conversation of a plan to “frame” Amber Cole?  Who knows? At this point nobody cares. It’s old news.

Why has it taken me so long to finish this blog? Ways of the world make my heart grow cold? Am I cold hearted, I don’t think so. Do I not care? Kinda have to admit – I don’t, but I did when I started writing this. Some of you will care while you’re reading this, maybe even be outraged as I was. But how long will it last?  It’s just too much of the same thing. Things that we know shouldn’t be happening - but they are. Unfortunately we all know, they will continue to happen.

What to do? Be respectful of self. Can I be a better me. A better example. Of course I can.  I use to be a better example, but it’s hard. But honestly, if we want to see change it’s what we’ve got to do. Not many of us can be a better example for the whole world, but we can be a better example for our children, for our family and for our friends. Don’t let someone’s actions make you unapproachable. The main thing is to be an example without judgment.

I Don’t Know – What Do You Think?